I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
