I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
