remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
