Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
