I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
