Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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