She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
