Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
