FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize