we're chasing vodka with high fives
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
