I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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