Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize