Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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