Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
