i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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