So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize