the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Im part way to drunk.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize