Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
