I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
