just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
