You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just want nice things and good sex
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
