So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
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For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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