I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
