They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
