I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You ate ashes out of my bong
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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