pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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