Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Holy shit dude........stairs
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
