I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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