Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
