if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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