I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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