lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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