i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
