is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
