Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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