I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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