She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize