considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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