So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
