We named our party play list daddy issues
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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