Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize