but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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