It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
