I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i've created a new STD.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
