girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
