Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
