got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
