before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
