If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
