she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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