I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
