lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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