Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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