Define "chronic" masturbator.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize