Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
