9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
