doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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