She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
How naked do you want me to be?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize