Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
