I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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