I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
