So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
