that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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