god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
