you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
