did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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