3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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