Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
