I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
