two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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