So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
