dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
