Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
