ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
