This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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