Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
do herpes really smell.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
